Benevolent Shopping

To say that my wife loves shopping would be an understatement on par with pointing out that fish love water. 

When her and her mother get together for a day on the town it is cause for mall owners to celebrate.  Like a visiting dignitary who is given the “keys” to a city, local merchants hold a ceremony offering my wife “keys” to the mall.  Not that I’m complaining, mind you.  I’d spend next months grocery money on books if my wife would let me.  My motto is:  Buy books now, beg food later.

Recently Jeannine’s mother came from Germany for a visit.  Knowing the danger posed to our poor defenseless credit cards I began to worry.  But my wife assured me that she and her mother were just going shopping for “fun”.  I should have known better.  These ladies prepare for a shopping day like endurance athletes prepare for race day.  They head out with bottled water, energy bars and proper footwear.  They’re like marathon runners only with cuter purses.

Arriving home after the first full day of shopping Jeannine proudly entered the living room and announced, “Honey, you’ll be so proud of me.  I went shopping all day and didn’t spend any money on myself.” 

Wow, I thought, this must be some kind of record.  A modern miracle.   “That’s wonderful dear,” I said.  And I meant it. 

“Would you like to see what I got?” she asked.

“Sure, but how did you get things without spending any money on yourself?”

“Oh, my mother got them for me,” she replied. 

Within moments I was treated to a mini fashion show of new shoes, a new blouse, new skirt, pants and a matching belt.  As impressive as this was, the show wasn’t over yet.  Next Jeannine’s mother modeled all her new outfits and accessories. 

“Those are great,” I said to my mother-in-law.  “You sure spent a lot of money today.” 

“Oh, she didn’t buy this stuff,” my beaming wife replied.  “These are the things I bought for her.”

“Let me get this straight,” I said.  “You spent nothing on yourself, but bought things for your mother.  And she bought nothing for herself—but got things for you?”

“Exactly,” said my wife, expecting me to be impressed with her financial savvy.  And I was. 

I’ve since come to call the practice Benevolent Shopping.  I plan to adopt this strategy for future bookstore trips.  Rather then spending next months grocery money on books for me, I’ll simply spend it on books for a friend.  In return, they can spend their grocery money on books for me, and viola!  I’ve spent no money on myself for books.  It’s brilliant.

Though I like to joke with Jeannine about her “Benevolent Shopping”, in truth, I’m very proud of my wife.  She is one of the most giving people I’ve ever known.  Not because of her shopping habits, but because she enjoys helping people at every opportunity.  She gives of her time, talents and treasures with no expectation of return.  She inspires.

Two thousand years ago a Galilean carpenter turned preacher had this to say about giving and receiving:

"When you give something to a needy person, do not make a big show of it as the hypocrites do in the houses of worship and on the streets.  They do it so that people will praise them.  I assure you, they have already been paid in full.  But when you help a needy person, do it in such a way that even your closest friend will not know about it.  Then it will be a private matter.  And your Father, who sees what you do in private, will reward you."  (Matthew 6:2-4 TEV)

Did you catch the contradiction in this account?  The less we notice we take of our own good deeds, the more notice God takes of them.  When we help others with no expectation of return, God rejoices.  When we give in secret, God rewards us in public.  This is, after all, the way God gives good gifts to you.  He doesn't trumpet his own goodness when he bestows a blessing.  He does it out of a full heart because he loves you.

Here’s the principle. 

Do good.  Do it often.  Do it in secret.  Do it because it’s right.  Do it because it makes your heavenly Father a proud Papa.  Do it because it’s exactly what a loving God does for you.

“In the same way, you should be a light for other people.  Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven.” 

-- Matthew 5:14-16 NCV

Todd Chobotar
Mission development
Florida Hospital