September 15, 2006

Gasping for Air

Adrenaline shot through my sleeping body.  A wave of panic washed over me.  Arms and legs tensed as I jolted awake with lungs gasping for air.

Scanning the room I saw no intruder, heard no noise, sensed no immanent danger.  Outside a stand of Aspens flickered in the moonlight.  Stars still sprinkled the horizon and next to me my wife slept. 

Seven times that night an apparent panic attack had robbed me of sleep.  Frustrated, worried and exhausted I arose early for the third straight night.  Padding to the living room I slumped into a recliner by the window facing Mt. Crested Butte.  Reaching for paper I began writing notes on my experience of the past few nights.  When morning arrived I drove to the medical clinic down in the village.

“How long are you in Colorado for?” the doctor asked.

“Just a week,” I replied. “My family rented a house up on the mountain.”

“Are you experiencing any shortness of breath or headaches during the day?”

“No,” I said, handing him my handwritten notes.  “That’s what’s strange.  During the day I go hiking, mountain biking, jogging, tubing and walking with no problems.  And I’ve never had sleep problems where I live in Orlando.”

The doctor studied my paper then began a series of tests.  Ten minutes later he reached his conclusion.  “I believe you have

Acute Mountain Sickness,” he said. 

“Is it dangerous?” I asked.

“It can be, but it doesn’t have to be.  It’s a condition that often affects people who ascend above 8,000 feet.  At higher altitudes there’s less oxygen which can cause distress to the lungs, heart, muscles and nervous system.  Most of the time symptoms are minor.  But in extreme cases it can cause severe shortness of breath, swelling of the brain, confusion, coma, and even death.”

Now I was getting scared.  Seeing my eyes widen he quickly continued.

“Don’t worry.  Your condition is quite mild.  The symptoms tend to get worse at night.  When you sleep, you naturally breathe more slowly and have lower blood oxygen levels.  This happens even at low elevations.  But once you rise to higher altitudes it can get worse due to less oxygen in the air.”

“And that explains why I wake up every 15 minutes feeling frightened?” I said.

“Yes.  The combination of slower breathing and less oxygen makes your body feel like it’s suffocating.  So it goes into panic mode by shooting adrenaline into your system to get you to wake up and take some deep breaths.  That’s why you experience a racing pulse, tense muscles and gasping lungs.”

“So what can I do about it?” I asked.

“I recommend you use an oxygen concentrator while you sleep.  It should solve the problem.”

That night I lay in bed using air tubes connected to a machine humming on the floor.  And I slept.  No panic attacks.  No gasping lungs.  Just rest, pure and blissful. 

Funny thing about oxygen—you don’t notice it till it’s gone.  Every breath you take happens because of this unseen element.  It’s essential to life, yet easy to overlook. 

In his book entitled Worship, Grammy award-winning musician Michael W. Smith draws an interesting parallel between breathing and spiritual health. 

You were never made to make it in this life on your own. God breathed into you the breath of life, and He intends to sustain that life if you will accept it. Acknowledging that we need Him is sort of like admitting you need life support.

Even as the body cannot sleep without oxygen, I believe the soul cannot rest without God.  His presence is the unseen element essential to life. 

While talking with some friends Christ once said, “Abide in me as I abide in you…because apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5 NRSV)  This type of connection suggests much more than a casual acquaintance with God or an occasional visit to church.  It’s a living, vibrant relationship where the two—in a sense—become one.  We live in God and he lives in us. 

At first, this prospect may seem frightening.  We all want to be strong, independent, self-reliant people.  But eventually reality sinks in.  Without God’s presence the soul suffocates and life loses meaning.  It is here we learn that the path to abundance lies in dependence.  Complete dependence on the One who made you, knows you and loves you. 

So stay connected to the source of life.  Keep it as natural as breathing in and breathing out.  I think you’ll find his abiding presence is just the life support you need.

“He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need there is.” Acts 17:25 NLT

Todd Chobotar
Mission Development
Florida Hospital